


tie dye dragon

by haemophilus



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: G-Rated Xenophilia, General Kaiju Groupie Nonsense, Kaiju (Pacific Rim), Other, Vignette, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:36:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14091192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemophilus/pseuds/haemophilus
Summary: The makeshift pons digs into your hands as a reminder of what might happen. It’s a purposeful pain and it keeps you sane which, incidentally, becomes a mantra that would be a great chorus if you still had a band. You roll it across your tongue at three AM as you try to remember seizures and the threat of death.Hermann calls. You don’t mention Alice.(By the time you do, it’s far, far too late.)





	tie dye dragon

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually go here but I just got out of Pacific Rim 2: The Rimming and I wanted to write about how Newt wanted to **** a Kaiju brain because honestly, same. Hope you like it!

It’s too easy to get Alice out of the lab in the aftermath of K-day. You say you’re taking her home to Cambridge so MIT can take a look and then –

Well, your fearless leader is too dead to notice what’s missing.

*

You pace in your bedroom the day she becomes a fixture in your home. Her sweet voice whispers in your ear the wonders of the multiverse like it’s the Kama Sutra. Your makeshift pons is still attached to the vat where she’s trapped in that eerie yellow liquid. Up close, she smells like formaldehyde, like Kaiju blue, like Godzilla and Mothra and _American Idiot._

When you put your hand on the glass, her nerve endings twitch in a friendly sort of way.

(This is what you tell yourself in your lucid moments. It’s less dangerous than the way the hot glass burned against your cheek.)

*

She’s lonely without her body or her family. You’re torn between working to avoid temptation and going home to stare at her for hours on end. Whiskey becomes a staple in your house; so does blacking out. You don’t hear her in your dreams when the alcohol stupor puts you to sleep.

When you’re not working or staring you’re fucking and fucking and fucking. You go to bars already trashed and pick up equally trashed graduate students. Thirty-five is too old to have this many one-night stands, but it’s better than the alternative. You stare at cheap popcorn ceilings while your lover quietly snores.

Dawn always comes too soon.

(When you’re half a person, you’ll try to forget the part of you that felt that dawn never came soon enough.)

*

The makeshift pons digs into your hands as a reminder of what might happen. It’s a purposeful pain and it keeps you sane which, incidentally, becomes a mantra that would be a great chorus if you still had a band. You roll it across your tongue at three AM as you try to remember seizures and the threat of death.

Hermann calls. You don’t mention Alice.

(By the time you do, it’s far, far too late.)

*

You get a job building drones when you fall asleep one too many times at your desk running simulations at MIT. The boat crew you hire to take Alice to Shanghai doesn’t ask questions about the curtained cylinder that weighs several tons. You pay them in cash. The people who move you into your apartment get the same, but in yuen.

Her voice calls out to you when your airplane hits 10,000 feet. She misses you.

(Later, you’ll tell yourself you don’t remember the thrill and sorrow of her sending you memories of a past life where she could fly too. You’d have stretched out your arms like wings if the businessman next to you wouldn’t have given you a dirty look. Even for you, that would have been pretty goddamn weird.)

*

Alice probes your mind at work, deeply curious about the complex projects you’re doing. You try to shut her out – her curiosity, after all, can’t mean anything good – but you fail.

(This is what you’ll tell yourself later, when the narrative of shared excitement becomes too much to bear.)

*

You don’t work with Kaiju parts anymore. Alice yearns for it too badly, so you quit your passion and pick up human bioengineering. She fills your head with daydreams of the tangy, meaty scent of your old labs. Sometimes you can feel the visceral squish of warm organs between your fingers. These visions make you sweat; you cry senselessly in the bathroom at work. Then, you’re home again and she stops because she knows, she _knows_ you don’t need to see them in your head when she’s right there.

(When they ask you why you did it, you’ll blame her. This isn’t you talking; she’s taking credit for her work. You won’t know this lie saved your sorry ass until much, much later.)

*

Resisting the visions is impossible until one day, it’s not. The signal becomes suddenly weak and then barely there. She’s _dying_ so, in a state of panic you rush home to say goodbye to something that should have died a long time ago. You burst into your apartment and don’t turn on the lights before racing over to Alice. She looks grey and old; it’s been six years since K-day and she’s running out of time. You shove the pons on your head and finally, finally give in.

(Later, you will forget that this felt like lover’s suicide.

This is for the best.)

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] tie dye dragon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600694) by [sisi_rambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisi_rambles/pseuds/sisi_rambles)




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